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    Maven (famous)@lemmy.zip to Microblog Memes@lemmy.worldEnglish · 8 months ago

    AITAH?

    lemmy.zip

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    AITAH?

    lemmy.zip

    Maven (famous)@lemmy.zip to Microblog Memes@lemmy.worldEnglish · 8 months ago
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    • henfredemars@infosec.pub
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      8 months ago

      He sucked 100 dicks and with that knowledge and experience in the end he finally chose hers.

      Remember that.

      • DarkThoughts@fedia.io
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        Either way I feel it’s more important how many dicks they sucked after entering the relationship.

        • henfredemars@infosec.pub
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          I personally don’t want to know about before and won 't ask, but that’s up to everyone’s personal relationship standards.

          • snooggums@lemmy.world
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            8 months ago

            My wife and I were both open about ours, and being open about it made trusting easier. I’m not sure who would have an problem knowing approximate numbers unless they have jealousy issues or are judgy.

            • TankovayaDiviziya@lemmy.world
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              Personally, I would not care if my partner had slept with many other men before settling down with me, as long as she had clearly chagee. But there are definitely others who would judge the past for one reason or another.

              Definitely there is double standards when it comes to “body count”. When a man sleeps with as many women as possible, he’s the man. But when a woman sleeps around with others, then she is branded a slut and her past is scrutinised.

              • snooggums@lemmy.world
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                8 months ago

                Personally, I would not care if my partner had slept with many other men before settling down with me, as long as she had clearly chagee.

                Volume isn’t as important as whether they wrre cheating in my opinion. If they cheated on 2 or more people that would be a massive red flag, while being single and promiscuous wouldn’t.

                • Croquette@sh.itjust.works
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                  8 months ago

                  Cheating on one person is one person too much, but that is only my value system. Different people have different tolerances and values.

                  My partner could have slept with a thousand men, and that wouldn’t matter as long as there was no cheating and no abuse in these interactions.

                  I guess that I am trying to say that I agree with you in too many worda

                  • snooggums@lemmy.world
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                    8 months ago

                    I have known too many people whose early relationships were bad enough that they cheated once not out of malice, but because they didn’t feel they could leave but found someone who treated them better. Then they chose to end relationships instead and it really was a one time thing.

                    Bascially I can see one as a learning experience depending on the context.

                  • ChickenLadyLovesLife@lemmy.world
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                    8 months ago

                    I’ve only ever really felt jealousy when it involved a woman turning me down and then sleeping with somebody else. As long as I’m allowed in the club, I don’t really care how many other people have been let in.

              • emmanuel_car@fedia.io
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                8 months ago

                Double standards are really harsh, when a woman sleeps with lots of men, she’s a slut. When a man does the same, he’s gay.

              • ChickenLadyLovesLife@lemmy.world
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                8 months ago

                as long as she had clearly chagee

                Tea?

            • ivanafterall ☑️@lemmy.world
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              Because some people like to use it as a bludgeon (or get jealous, as you say). After a couple of those, I decided not talking about it was best and that someone really NEEDING to know/talk about it is actually a potential red flag.

      • Agent641@lemmy.world
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        8 months ago

        When you’re bi curious, but you also respect the scientific method and so you require a large sample size to make an informed decision.

    • SynonymousStoat@lemmy.world
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      8 months ago

      In a row?

      • ϻеƌųʂɑ@sh.itjust.works
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        8 months ago

        Try not to suck any dick on the way through the parking lot!

        • jballs@sh.itjust.works
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          8 months ago

          Hey get back here!

          • CptEnder@lemmy.world
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            8 months ago

            I wasn’t even supposed to be here today!

      • neatchee@lemmy.world
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        8 months ago

        I’m not even supposed to be here today!

      • djsoren19@yiffit.net
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        It’s written almost as if he did it the night before the wedding, which would be an impressive trick for a bachelor party.

        • Olhonestjim@lemmy.world
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          8 months ago

          I mean impressive, but not unachievable.

        • evidences@lemmy.world
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          8 months ago

          There was that one episode of the dropout show breaking news where we find out grant blew 50 dudes in one night at a warehouse party in New York, 100 in a single night would be next level.

          • Flying Squid@lemmy.world
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            8 months ago

            Supposedly the wife of the emperor Claudius had a contest with a prostitute to see how many men each one of them could fuck within 24 hours.

            (It was probably just propaganda, but it was in I, Claudius anyway.)

      • ceenote@lemmy.world
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        8 months ago

        Just bring her lasagna at work. She’ll get over it.

        • someguy3@lemmy.world
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          8 months ago

          Until her fashion designer ex shows up.

          • BigBananaDealer@lemm.ee
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            8 months ago

            theres a million fine lookin women out there

            not all of them bring you lasagna at work…most of em just cheat on you

      • DreamButt@lemmy.world
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        8 months ago

        No simultaneously

      • Valmond@lemmy.world
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        8 months ago

        Nah in a column.

    • ShinkanTrain@lemmy.ml
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      It’s not dick sucking quantity that matters, but dick sucking quality

      • ivanafterall ☑️@lemmy.world
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        “I swear I really went for it, babe. I was buckling knees…”

      • ByteOnBikes@slrpnk.net
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        Hard disagree. It’s about optimizing the dick sucking.

        I’m betting if you line three guys into a triangle, you can suck three dicks at once.

        This will allow you hit 99 dicks in only 33 sucking motions.

        • Snowyday@startrek.website
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          8 months ago

          Middle out! Middle out!

          https://youtu.be/Ex1JuIN0eaA?si=aQdrTujjqzhtNQKp

        • P00ptart@lemmy.world
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          8 months ago

          Yeah if you have a jaw that can be unhinged like a snake.

      • frezik@midwest.social
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        8 months ago

        Quantity has a quality all its own. Jumps into pile of dicks.

      • Midnight Wolf@lemmy.world
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        8 months ago

        ¿Por que no los dos?

    • Empricorn@feddit.nl
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      He sucked their dicks, but did he suck their hearts?

      • Midnight Wolf@lemmy.world
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        8 months ago

        He he he, first orgasm, then organ harvesting

        • Empricorn@feddit.nl
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          8 months ago

          Then organic organism organizing.

    • andros_rex@lemmy.world
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      It’s surprisingly not that hard to put up those kinds of numbers. It does not matter your gender or physical appearance, you can find at least one hundred guys willing to let you suck their dick.

      • ByteOnBikes@slrpnk.net
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        I’m afraid to test your theory.

        • NewAgeOldPerson@lemmy.world
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          If you do test their theory, get tested often.

          • Vandals_handle@lemmy.world
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            8 months ago

            They already completed the multiple choice section of the test.

      • 🇰 🌀 🇱 🇦 🇳 🇦 🇰 🇮 🏆@yiffit.net
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        8 months ago

        My experience on Grindr says otherwise.

        • andros_rex@lemmy.world
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          8 months ago

          Sometimes you’ve gotta be brave enough to check out the blank profiles lol.

          • 🇰 🌀 🇱 🇦 🇳 🇦 🇰 🇮 🏆@yiffit.net
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            I kinda think that’s a bit of the problem. So many picless profiles that are “dl” and I’m out and loud about it.

            • andros_rex@lemmy.world
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              8 months ago

              deleted by creator

        • Match!!@pawb.social
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          8 months ago

          but, you seem so cute

        • Spacehooks@reddthat.com
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          Live near a major city?

      • KillingTimeItself@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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        8 months ago

        it turns out it’s a lot harder if you don’t care from the get go. Asexual representation goes hard.

    • ntma@lemm.ee
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      Removed by mod

      • ChickenLadyLovesLife@lemmy.world
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        8 months ago

        that’s when I told her about the escorts.

        Jesus Christ, never admit that you drove a Ford.

        • Schmuppes@lemmy.today
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          Unless it was a smoking hot Cosworth RS.

          • ArcaneSlime@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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            Tbh I kinda want one of the Rancheros (or an El Camino, but). They’re just slick as fuck lmao.

            • Schmuppes@lemmy.today
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              Business in the front and party in the back. The automotive mullet.

              • ArcaneSlime@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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                The perfect car and the perfect hair, what else could ya need?! Perfect for any situation!

      • Ibaudia@lemmy.world
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        I mean… it’s probably good to talk about these things before getting married, since it will inevitably lead to unresolved feelings later on. I wouldn’t mind if, for instance, my partner was a slut while I was a sexless virgin before we got together, but I would at least want to know that about them. In my mind you’re supposed to talk about your life experiences with your partner, and sex is falls under that umbrella. Idk, maybe I’m weird for thinking that.

    • NeptuneOrbit@lemmy.world
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      As long as it wasn’t in a row

      • 9point6@lemmy.world
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        8 months ago

        Are you envisaging a sort of grid arrangement?

        • SkunkWorkz@lemmy.world
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          8 months ago

          No a spiral. Makes the ol’ suck and tug much easier.

        • Scratch@sh.itjust.works
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          Sequential list, surely. Though maybe you could suck off the current and .next at the same time.

      • BartyDeCanter@lemmy.sdf.org
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        What if was in a column?

      • Moops@lemmy.world
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        8 months ago

        Don’t kink shame me!

      • nnullzz@lemmy.world
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        If you found the Optimal Tip-to-Tip efficiency it’s doable.

        • ChonkyOwlbear@lemmy.world
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          Don’t forget to account for girth similarity.

          • Midnight Wolf@lemmy.world
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            8 months ago

            Fucking billionaires.

      • henfredemars@infosec.pub
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        How about if it was all at the same time?

        • Viking_Hippie@lemmy.world
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          8 months ago

          Paging MC’s porn producing cousin SM Escher!

      • BeigeAgenda@lemmy.ca
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        8 months ago

        He was lying about that repetitive strain injury all along. 😮

      • HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world
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        What about side to side

    • lefixxx@lemmy.world
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      She’s just upset because her number is so low comparingly

    • Mango@lemmy.world
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      How do you get 100+ people to let you suck their dicks? Asking for a friend.

      • slacktoid@lemmy.ml
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        You ask politely one at a time.

        Doesn’t have to be polite all the time either.

      • ByteOnBikes@slrpnk.net
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        You start with hello

        • CleoTheWizard@lemmy.world
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          Hello. (Am I doing this right?)

          • ByteOnBikes@slrpnk.net
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            8 months ago

            So uh… 🍆?

            Nah j/k! Haha lol! Unless… 👀

      • Flying Squid@lemmy.world
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        8 months ago

        A large bachelor party, some knockout gas and a lot of Viagra.

    • originalucifer@moist.catsweat.com
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      i just cant imagine giving a shit about this. like how insecure do you have to be after 16 years to care??

      • can@sh.itjust.works
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        The joke is after 16 years finding out your husband is into cock.

        • originalucifer@moist.catsweat.com
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          ahh, yeah i dont live in a world where that kind of gender issue matters.

          • zaph@sh.itjust.works
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            You don’t think knowing your partner of 16 years’ sexual preferences is important?

            • originalucifer@moist.catsweat.com
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              meh. who did they marry again? me? groovy.

              • can@sh.itjust.works
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                8 months ago

                It’s not that it matters, but I would feel bad that my partner didn’t feel comfortable enough to share that part of them after so long.

                • originalucifer@moist.catsweat.com
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                  i could see that. its really not about the sex or preference, its about trust in information. that is something every relationship must contend with making this rather pedestrian

              • zaph@sh.itjust.works
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                I get the feeling you think I’m saying this because of insecurities or something. I just think it’s important to know what your partner likes and doesn’t like. I’d feel pretty alone if I was with someone I couldn’t express my desires to even if they can’t fulfill them and wouldn’t want my partner to feel that way.

                • originalucifer@moist.catsweat.com
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                  nope, we said the same thing

      • RagingHungryPanda@lemm.ee
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        8 months ago

        Woosh

      • lone_faerie@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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        Right? My partner’s sex life before me is irrelevant to the relationship

    • wondrous_strange@lemmy.world
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      Did he try to explain to her that 20$ is 20$?

    • JasonDJ@lemmy.zip
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      At once?

      • ZeffSyde@lemmy.world
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        8 months ago

        In a row?!

        • ✺roguetrick✺@lemmy.world
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          8 months ago

          Why’d you have to suck their dick, I mean why couldn’t you sleep them like a decent person?

          https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=1OQl89ewXvc

          • mojofrododojo@lemmy.world
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            8 months ago

            so if he makes his wife lasagna… I don’t see the problem.

        • Slovene@feddit.nl
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          8 months ago

          deleted by creator

    • raynethackery@lemmy.world
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      8 months ago

      Well, I mean, as long as you made enough to afford the engagement ring.

    • cRazi_man@lemm.ee
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      8 months ago

      Same one 100 times? Or 100 different ones?

      • 𝕾𝖕𝖎𝖈𝖞 𝕿𝖚𝖓𝖆@lemmy.world
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        8 months ago

        I fear not the man who has sucked 10,000 cocks once, but I fear the man who has sucked one cock 10,000 times.

        • massive_bereavement@fedia.io
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          Let’s say he sucked at least three per each weekday and rested on weekends, it would take an average of 12 years and six months to suck so many dicks.

          If otherwise would just stick to the one, again resting on weekends, that could make it a 38 year commitment.

          My advice to you is if you wanna be the man who sucks 10,000 cocks, commit to at least three per day. (You can rest on weekends)

          • emmanuel_car@fedia.io
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            8 months ago

            Oh boy, do I have some catch up to do.

      • UnderpantsWeevil@lemmy.world
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        8 months ago

        Was hard to tell. Just kinda grabbed whatever came through the hole in the wall.

    • LaserTurboShark69@sh.itjust.works
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      8 months ago

      Haha gay

      • Mango@lemmy.world
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        8 months ago

        Penis

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