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    ooli2@lemm.ee to Funny@sh.itjust.worksEnglish · 4 months ago

    sure way to get a man

    i.imgur.com

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    sure way to get a man

    i.imgur.com

    ooli2@lemm.ee to Funny@sh.itjust.worksEnglish · 4 months ago
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    • Squorlple@lemmy.world
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      4 months ago

      Commas aren’t hard people

      • MohamedMoney@feddit.org
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        4 months ago

        Commas aren’t hard, people.

        • Carvex@lemmy.world
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          4 months ago

          Commas aren’t, hard people.

          • TargaryenTKE@lemmy.world
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            4 months ago

          • Viking_Hippie@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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            4 months ago

            Commies. Aren’t people hard?

            • Yerbouti@sh.itjust.works
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              4 months ago

              Hard people aren’t cumming?

              • Viking_Hippie@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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                4 months ago

                Alan: Cumming

            • Septimaeus@infosec.pub
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              4 months ago

              Mas aren’t hard, yet

        • activ8r@sh.itjust.works
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          4 months ago

          Nailed, it.

        • jaybone@lemmy.world
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          4 months ago

          Commas are more like limp people

      • grue@lemmy.world
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        4 months ago

        This meme needs a semicolon, though.

        • Squorlple@lemmy.world
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          4 months ago

          Semicolons are hard people

          • kusivittula@sopuli.xyz
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            4 months ago

            all colons are hard

            • jaybone@lemmy.world
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              4 months ago

              You need to see a doctor.

              • Miles O'Brien@startrek.website
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                4 months ago

                Or call robo-rooter. They can help!

      • burgersc12@mander.xyz
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        4 months ago

        Commas aren’t; hard people

      • FreshLight@sh.itjust.works
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        4 months ago

        This is correct.

    • Bytemeister@lemmy.world
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      4 months ago

      Go stand by an E-111. You don’t want no fighter fanbois. You want a reliable and versatile machine partner who is non-violent, capable of accommodating the needs of two, and has full capsule ejection.

      • brbposting@sh.itjust.works
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        4 months ago

        lolll & with that edit and the strikethrough it seems like you really had to go back in and correct “machine” lol

        • Bytemeister@lemmy.world
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          You may not form romantic bonds with aircraft, but I do. I’d fuck an airplane if given the chance.

          • hemko@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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            4 months ago

            NCD is leaking again

            • sugar_in_your_tea@sh.itjust.works
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              4 months ago

              And it’s glorious.

          • THCDenton@lemmy.world
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            4 months ago

            • Bytemeister@lemmy.world
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              4 months ago

              Okay, but hear me out…

              F86 Sabre.

              Consolidated PBY Catalina.

              Camillus AutoGyro.

              I kinda like the Fairey Rotodyne as well, but she’s a screamer and I don’t want to get deafened.

              • THCDenton@lemmy.world
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                4 months ago

          • Zip2@feddit.uk
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            deleted by creator

            • Bytemeister@lemmy.world
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              4 months ago

              F-35 is triplets… But kinda the conjoined type.

              F-16 would be a freak in the sheets.

              Galaxy… I don’t know if I could take something that big.

          • Match!!@pawb.social
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            4 months ago

            What’re you, a dragon?

            • LousyCornMuffins@lemmy.world
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              4 months ago

              They said airplane, not car. Fucking airplanes is more of Boeing thing

          • Natanael@infosec.pub
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            4 months ago

            Found the alt for swiftonsecurity

    • Admiral Patrick@dubvee.org
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      4 months ago

      Looks like the upcoming Cunk on Tinder

    • TooManyGames@sopuli.xyz
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      4 months ago

      What’s the male alternative? Trying on shirts in the wrong size?

      • driving_crooner@lemmy.eco.br
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        4 months ago

        Go to the grocery store and keep staring at the scented soaps

        • jaybone@lemmy.world
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          4 months ago

          Ok, now what.

          • needanke@feddit.org
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            4 months ago

            Buy one and take a shower

            • blackn1ght@feddit.uk
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              4 months ago

              The supermarket doesn’t have any showers to take though

              • needanke@feddit.org
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                4 months ago

                Gardening section

                • sugar_in_your_tea@sh.itjust.works
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                  You’d have better luck at the hardware store: stronger soaps, more shower selection, and really effective scouring pads.

          • ace_of_based@sh.itjust.works
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            4 months ago

            Depends. Did you remember your wad of hundreds and pack of Magnum condoms?

          • bstix@feddit.dk
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            4 months ago

            Ask for assistance. It’s a great conversation starter.

          • Comment105@lemm.ee
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            4 months ago

            Keep starin

          • bitjunkie@lemmy.world
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            4 months ago

            Now they still don’t want to talk to you

        • TooManyGames@sopuli.xyz
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          4 months ago

          Devilishly clever!

        • yannic@lemmy.ca
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          Pro-Tip: Until they recently dropped the misleading product, “Unscented” Dove soap had perfume in it. Sensitive Skin Dove soap does not.

          • driving_crooner@lemmy.eco.br
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            Thanks for the ad.

      • rumba@lemmy.zip
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        There isn’t one. When that stuff about “they chose the bear” happened, they meant it.

        You have to be vetted and have an in, give their dog bacon. Volunteer.

        • Kusimulkku@lemm.ee
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          There isn’t one. When that stuff about “they chose the bear” happened, they meant it.

          RIP women, but tbh what did they expect when they chose the bear

          • rumba@lemmy.zip
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            4 months ago

            I mean, they’re not exactly wrong, the odds of getting raped on an evening walk are drastically higher than a bear screwing with them.

            Being a guy, I think the odds are still relatively low, but also being a guy, I don’t have any say in how they feel about things nor their experience to understand.

            • Kusimulkku@lemm.ee
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              A random bear is a lot more likely to maul you to shit than a random dude is to rape you lol. It’s a horrible choice but I respect it (rip)

              • rumba@lemmy.zip
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                4 months ago

                A random bear is a lot more likely

                I get the feeling you’re not acquainted with wild bears.

                Unless they feel threatened (especially with cubs) they generally DGAF.

                Almost 1 in 2.1 Million Chances of Being Attacked by a Bear. (National Park Service)

                • Kusimulkku@lemm.ee
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                  This is about being with a bear vs a dude though. That stat is for randomly getting attacked…

                  • rumba@lemmy.zip
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                    g with a bear vs a dude though. That stat is for randomly getting attacked…

                    This was the sauce

                    https://people.com/would-you-rather-be-in-woods-with-bear-or-man-tiktok-8644184

                    be in the woods with a bear or a man

                    The Parks Service is reporting on bear attacks in the woods.

                    While true it’s not man attacks in the woods, it’s close enough to at least understand it.

                • Ilovethebomb@lemm.ee
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                  I think it really depends on the bear. Polar or grizzly, and you’re in trouble.

      • lightnsfw@reddthat.com
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        I usually have a woman initiate conversation with me in line at the grocery store every 3-4 trips just by minding my own business. IDK if they mean anything by it or how to turn that into a date but it is something that happens.

        • hector@sh.itjust.works
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          4 months ago

          Must be hella cute IRL (✿◠‿◠)♡ ;))

      • AbsoluteChicagoDog@lemm.ee
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        4 months ago

        Just stare at tits until one of their owners falls in love with you

    • Miles O'Brien@startrek.website
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      I have a picture of my wife posing in the children’s cutout in the back, I jokingly asked if she wanted a picture with it and she got excited and ran over to pose.

      I mean, we were dating at the time, but one of the first dates I took her on was the Wright pat airforce base museum.

      This would absolutely have worked on me when I was younger. You know, if I had enough confidence to talk to women when I went to museums alone…

    • Boomkop3@reddthat.com
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      That might get you a grandpa, may I suggest a video game store?

      • Death_Equity@lemmy.world
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        Depends on how much she likes a plus sized man with a fedora collection.

        • Boomkop3@reddthat.com
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          4 months ago

          To each their own

    • Ingiald@feddit.nl
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      I had to read that multiple times, confused as to why their work was looking confused in a museum and how dating apps were conflicting with that.

      • Sergio@slrpnk.net
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        Dating apps aren’t working time to make a meme with bad punctuation.

      • TrickDacy@lemmy.world
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        That’s because it was written very shittily.

    • fibojoly@sh.itjust.works
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      Should try that one at your local Games Workshop. Maybe ask about that Heresy you have been hearing so much about…

      • Yaarmehearty@lemmy.ml
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        4 months ago

        So I hear this guy Erebus a lot, he must be the main good guy, right?

        • ShaggySnacks@lemmy.myserv.one
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          Erebus is a stand up guy, he won’t stab you in the back.

    • pyre@lemmy.world
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      I’d be careful, weirdos who wish the war went the other way feel emboldened lately

      • 5in1k@lemm.ee
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        The volunteers at my local air museum all were just excited about the planes and the little demos they had. They also had a huge Rosie the Riveter section because it was the bomber plant filled with ladies building planes to kill Nazis.

    • afronaut@lemmy.cafe
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      She’d have an easier time cosplaying as Scully at an X-Files convention.

      • Death_Equity@lemmy.world
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        4 months ago

        Maybe, if she wants an older man that has RFID sheets.

        • Ricky Rigatoni@lemm.ee
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          4 months ago

          Who doesn’t?

          • Death_Equity@lemmy.world
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            Who does?

            No seriously, I want to slide into their dead drop and swap messenger pigeons.

    • Beldarofremulak@discuss.online
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      deleted by creator

      • nanoswarm9k@lemmus.org
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        4 months ago

        https://stopstreetharassment.org/resources/male-allies/how-to-talk-to-women/

        https://www.wikihow.com/Talk-to-Strangers

        • u/lukmly013 💾 (lemmy.sdf.org)@lemmy.sdf.org
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          I am just tempted to print out that wikihow thing onto 15 pages, approach someone, and start following it step by step, reading it from the paper.

          • captainlezbian@lemmy.world
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            Do it. Obviously stop if the person isn’t responding well, but that’s some primo performance art

            • nanoswarm9k@lemmus.org
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              cool, yah. as long as the audience can decline and leave, it’s a performance. Otherwise it’s harrasment – fortunately the other article covers the finer points of avoiding cornering people or behaving like a stalker pretty well.

              • captainlezbian@lemmy.world
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                Honestly it might actually be funnier to do it on a street corner at nobody and everybody. And be sure to pick a place that’s friendly to performance art

                • nanoswarm9k@lemmus.org
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                  4 months ago

                  yes!

        • djsoren19@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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          Got it, don’t approach anyone ever.

          • rumba@lemmy.zip
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            Got it, don’t approach anyone ever.

            Considering the general consensus so far is that it’s better for a woman to approach a wild bear than a random, unassuming man, if that’s the best game we’ve got, I think you’re right.

            • nanoswarm9k@lemmus.org
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              thanks for keeping you defeatism and poor reading skills off the streets where someone else could get hurt. might be time for a glass of water and a stretch, bruh. ya’ll deserve pro help with that depression et al., when you’re ready.

              feel free to make another unkind and unfunny reply if it’s what helps your ego survive another 24 hrs. hopefully you have an expressive or constructive hobby as a possible alternative…

              • rumba@lemmy.zip
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                4 months ago

                Glad I could be of service

                • nanoswarm9k@lemmus.org
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                  4 months ago

                  you may have a headpat, optional.

              • nanoswarm9k@lemmus.org
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                for real though, recreational third spaces are better than transit or errand-necessity third spaces for a casual “hello isn’t it interesting around here” chat.

                attending social groups around interests helps take the guesswork out of whether people are cool to talk or no.

                not that any of that would help anyone who leads with self-centered whining or skipped too many showers.

                yeah, i know it’s kind of troll-feeding, but there are probably other people reading who might still have some hope to stop eating incel kaka and turn it around. G.I.G.O…

                • rumba@lemmy.zip
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                  I’m not trolling you I just really disagree with you, and honestly I think you’re being kind of a jerk but this is just let me and people are people.

                  • nanoswarm9k@lemmus.org
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                    4 months ago

                    i have an info sharing compulsion that makes me obnoxious to people who didn’t really want a helpful reply at the moment. found my niche in DnD and study groups, but i still piss off people irl when they want to complain without being offered solutions or encouragement.

                    i might not have jerk intentions, but it can be jerk behavior if i misread the room hard enough.

                    thanks for engaging in earnest.

                    people are definitely people. Do you like bellcurves?

    • RememberTheApollo_@lemmy.world
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      Some 78 year old docent will approach you.

    • PyroNeurosis@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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      4 months ago

      Has she considered infodumping? I hear that’s a great hook. Might even be able to stay in the plane museum if that’s her interest.

      • SharkEatingBreakfast@sopuli.xyz
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        I have a museum near me that has some old trains… 🤔

    • tetris11@lemmy.ml
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      I mean, yeah? I volunteer at a local old airport/museum, and that is pretty much my jam

    • lordnikon@lemmy.world
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      Might have even better luck in the Roman history section.

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