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    Godric@lemmy.world to Lemmy Shitpost@lemmy.world · 5 days ago

    Vitamins are good but idk....

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    Vitamins are good but idk....

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    Godric@lemmy.world to Lemmy Shitpost@lemmy.world · 5 days ago
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    • Agent641@lemmy.world
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      5 days ago

      There’s a myth that carrots are good for your eyesight, but what’s interesting is that carrots are actually really good for your memory. I lost one up my ass when I was 12 and never forgot that moment.

      • kameecoding@lemmy.world
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        5 days ago

        I think in the future, you should use the version with “my uncle stuck one up my ass when I was 12 and never forgot about it.”

        It’s a better punchline imo.

        • qarbone@lemmy.world
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          5 days ago

          What about being sexually abused by an older family member makes it a better punchline?

          • surewhynotlem@lemmy.world
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            4 days ago

            Some people cope with the horribleness of reality by trying to laugh. I can’t say it’s a good or a bad way to cope.

            But remember folks, gallows humor is only funny when you’re one of the ones on the gallows. If no one stuck a carrot up your ass, it’s not your place to make the joke.

            • outhouseperilous@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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              I have had a carrot up my ass but it was overall a powitive experience.

            • Bourff@lemmy.world
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              4 days ago

              So we’re gatekeeping humor now?

              • surewhynotlem@lemmy.world
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                4 days ago

                Yep. Does that make you angry? We’re gatekeeping that too. Get over it.

                • Bourff@lemmy.world
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                  3 days ago

                  Thank you, thought police! I was about to make an illegal joke but your comment saved civilization from it.

                  • surewhynotlem@lemmy.world
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                    3 days ago

                    You can make whatever joke you like. I’m just letting you know how it’ll be received and why.

          • Akasazh@feddit.nl
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            Black humor is an important coping mechanism

            • MotoAsh@lemmy.world
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              Not everyone has to cope, especially with such subjects, which makes it a worse punch line.

          • kameecoding@lemmy.world
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            5 days ago

            Oh no, you forgot you carrot in there

            • qarbone@lemmy.world
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              4 days ago

              That doesn’t answer anyone’s question.

    • MyNamesTotallyRobert@lemmynsfw.com
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      I don’t understand why people leave their sex toys in the shower. One time when I was a teenager I was masturbating in the shower and accidentally got cum on my sister’s dildo. I had to scrub that thing with all the soaps, bleach, toilet cleaner and just everything soap related I could get without anyone finding out. I guess I got lucky because no one ever found out and she didn’t mysteriously get pregnant afterwards.

      • CorruptCheesecake@lemmy.world
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        4 days ago

        Fuck what a terrible day to have eyes.

        • Alwaysnownevernotme@lemmy.world
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          4 days ago

          I curse the day I learned to read.

      • Bane_Killgrind@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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        4 days ago

        e_e

      • WIZARD POPE💫@lemmy.world
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        4 days ago

        ಠ⁠︵⁠ಠ

      • Karjalan@lemmy.world
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        4 days ago

        “accidentally”

      • WorldsDumbestMan@lemmy.today
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        Well, it probably smelled better than it was, so quite lucky.

    • Die Martin Die@sh.itjust.works
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      4 days ago

      Cucumbers are better for…uhh…vitamin D? idk

      • Godric@lemmy.worldOP
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        IDK, this carrot looks rich in vitamin D

    • hardcoreufo@lemmy.world
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      Get another carrot and when they come home just start chompping down on it nonchalantly. Total power move to establish your dominance.

    • smegger@aussie.zone
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      There are no bites in that carrot. I’d avoid touching it

      • sramder@lemmy.world
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        Could have just been washing it for later consumption. Best to see if it’s still warm.

        • rumschlumpel@feddit.org
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          Smell it … if you dare.

          • sramder@lemmy.world
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            IDK man… in my experience vegan balloon-knot and carrots 🥕 🐖🦩🎟️🤙

            I’m just guessing on the vegan part obviously…

            College is tough, sometimes you just forget your carrot in the shower. —Sigmund Fraud

          • NatakuNox@lemmy.world
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            Why stop there?

    • Zier@fedia.io
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      That aquaglide tells me someone was trying to get their 5 (inches) a day. Stay healthy bitches!!

    • molten@lemmy.world
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      I’d eat it. I don’t mind leftovers and I hate waste.

      • hungryphrog@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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        it might be that it wasn’t used for eating

    • ExploitedAmerican@lemmy.world
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      3 days ago

      Someones in the mood for a vitamin alright…. Vitamin D!!! Lmfao

    • one_knight_scripting@lemmy.world
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      Showers are for oranges or IPAs.

    • Hikuro-93@lemmy.world
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      No one does, judging by the look of that one. 🤫

    • NigelFrobisher@aussie.zone
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      This is remarkably common among visitors to A&E.

      • Trainguyrom@reddthat.com
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        Have you seen the price of dildos? I can’t blame people for getting creative with household objects!

      • Vinstaal0@feddit.nl
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        Accident and emergency people?

        • QuoVadisHomines@sh.itjust.works
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          I think it is accident and emergency wards

          • Vinstaal0@feddit.nl
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            Now the sentence makes more sense …

    • son_named_bort@lemmy.world
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      Bugs Bunny

    • dalekcaan@feddit.nl
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      Give it a nibble. You might like it.

    • WanderWisley@lemmy.world
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      It might go well in a fresh salad or stew.

    • MuskyMelon@lemmy.world
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      I don’t think that’s for eating

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