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    irelephant [he/him]🍭@lemm.ee to Asklemmy@lemmy.ml · 4 months ago

    Go to wikihow and press on "random article". That is what you die doing. How do you die?

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    Go to wikihow and press on "random article". That is what you die doing. How do you die?

    irelephant [he/him]🍭@lemm.ee to Asklemmy@lemmy.ml · 4 months ago
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    https://www.wikihow.com/Main-Page Direct link to the random button: https://wikihow.com/Special:Randomizer

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    • stiephelando@discuss.tchncs.de
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      4 months ago

      I’m dying in a religious conflict

      • stiephelando@discuss.tchncs.de
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        4 months ago

        Bonus:

      • I_am_10_squirrels@beehaw.org
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        4 months ago

        Are you by chance Irish?

    • 𒉀TheGuyTM3𒉁@lemmy.ml
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      4 months ago

      https://www.wikihow.com/Get-a-Middle-School-Crush-to-Like-You

      UUUHHHHH


      monday


      inhales

      I like coming here.

      In break times, i often get to see her, with her long skirt, her adorable jacket, and her soft, long, brown hair.

      She is rather tall in her friend group, she must be 13, maybe 14…

      It doesn’t stop me for loving her even if i am in my 40’s.

      Nothing can.

      It’s not a barbaric attraction like thoses weird pedophiles.

      My love is pure.

      She’s made to be mine.

      “I want to be with her together.”


      tuesday


      She just leaved the school to buy her meal.

      Today she did attach her hairs into two braids, with ribbons at the ends.

      She is so cute.

      “I absoluetly want to be with her”


      She seems to be alone right now.

      “Is it my chance?”

      Slowly, gently, silently, I put some chloroform on the piece of cotton.

      Softly, purely, nicely, I approach her from behind.

      Strangely, surprisingly, quickly, she does a barrel roll and a backflip, and face me with an assault rifle.

      Rougly, straightly, immediatly, she say: “ladies and gentleman, we got him”

      Painly, horribly, trementously, i get perfored multiple times by supersonic projectiles, and fall on the ground.

      “aww man”

      I just died trying to get a middle school crush to like me.


      Guys don’t call the police it’s for the thing

      • Refurbished Refurbisher@lemmy.sdf.org
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        4 months ago

        FBI OPEN UP

    • flicker@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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      4 months ago

      Initiative in D&D 5E

      I die in a conflict where I tell a Wizards of the Coast zombie that Paizo and Pathfinder are the best, which, honestly, I should’ve seen coming.

      • Take_your_zync@eviltoast.org
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        4 months ago

        I will also die on the hill of pf >>> 5e.

    • Aradina [They/Them]@lemmy.ml
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      4 months ago

      Apparently I’ll die becoming Israeli

      • propter_hog [any, any]@hexbear.net
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        4 months ago

        IDF coming in hot

      • ahal@lemmy.ca
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        4 months ago

        At least you aren’t going to die becoming a southern belle.

    • otacon239@lemmy.world
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      4 months ago

      I think this speaks for itself

    • Zelaf@sopuli.xyz
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      4 months ago

      I’m dying of stupidity, apparently.

      • Zavasay@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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        4 months ago

        Dying is the opposite of seeking mental stimulation lol

    • ProjectMork@lemmy.ml
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      4 months ago

      well hmm, This could be interesting

    • Nollij@sopuli.xyz
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      4 months ago

      I have nothing more to add to this.

      https://www.wikihow.com/Get-Rid-of-Carpenter-Bees-Using-Wd40

    • sangriaferret@sh.itjust.works
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      4 months ago

      • tetris11@lemmy.ml
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        4 months ago

        I WARNED YEH!
        DIDN’T I WARN YEH?

    • .Donuts@lemmy.world
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      4 months ago

      Welp…

      • SkyezOpen@lemmy.world
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        4 months ago

        Getting punched in the throat while trying to wall thump somebody is peak physical comedy.

        • .Donuts@lemmy.world
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          4 months ago

          Praying for death by snu snu…

    • BreadOven@lemmy.world
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      4 months ago

      Is that link rigged…? This is what I got:

      https://www.wikihow.com/Give-a-Rectal-Exam

      • wintermute@discuss.tchncs.de
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        4 months ago

        I got “How to remove a urinary catheter” 😱🤣

        • BreadOven@lemmy.world
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          4 months ago

          😳

      • agamemnonymous@sh.itjust.works
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        4 months ago

        You must be a crewman on the Sargossa

    • Nurse_Robot@lemmy.world
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      4 months ago

      How To Get More Views on a Facebook Video

      God dammit

      • irelephant [he/him]🍭@lemm.eeOP
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        4 months ago

        Step one: Post when zuck was skewing video counts to make people “pivot to video”

    • communism@lemmy.ml
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      4 months ago

      https://www.wikihow.com/Write-Your-Own-Eulogy

      Well, at least I was prepared.

      • Melbourne@lemmy.ca
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        4 months ago

        That’s so damn funny!!!

    • Raymond Shannon@lemmy.ml
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      4 months ago

      How would I die by this?

      “How to Convince Your Parents to Let You Have a YouTube Account”

      • I_am_10_squirrels@beehaw.org
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        4 months ago

        They say no. When you continue to insist on getting an account, your dad loses his patience and starts beating you with jumper cables.

        • Raymond Shannon@lemmy.ml
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          4 months ago

          Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!

    • theywilleatthestars@lemmy.world
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      4 months ago

      I’m checking a microwave for leaks, how did the C4 even get in here?

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