cross-posted from: https://lemmy.blahaj.zone/post/25042034

This post is “FYI only” for blahaj lemmy members. It is not a debate, and is not intended for non blahaj lemmy users to weigh in and offer opinions.

I recently received reports of a feddit.uk user espousing transphobia. Specifically, this was a feddit.uk user refusing to use the word cis, repeating the “adult human female” dog whistle, and claiming that trans women are not women. I approached a member of the feddit.uk admin team and raised my concerns and sought clarification of their stance on posts like this, where the transphobia is mostly dogwhistles, and “civil disagreement” on the validity of trans folk.

I was told by the feddit.uk admin that their preferred response is this kind of transphobia is to “sort it out through discussion and voting”. However, the comments in question are currently more upvoted than downvoted, and little “sorting out” has occurred. The posts remain in place.

At this point, the admin stopped responding to my messages despite being active elsewhere on lemmy. When it became clear they were ignoring my messages and had no intention of removing the posts in question, I made the decision to defederate the instance.

I know some folk agree with the feddit.uk admins approach of pushback through discussion and voting, but this instance is not designed to be that kind of space. Blahaj lemmy is meant to be a place where we can avoid the rampant transphobia universally visible on nearly every other social media platform, and where we can exist without needing to debate our right to do so.

  • PhilipTheBucketA
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    22 hours ago

    For anyone who’s curious about the actual messages, I think these are them:

    A woman is an adult female. A transwoman is an adult female who used to be male. It’s not difficult to grasp that they are different things. You can admit that and still believe that transwomen should be treated with dignity like anyone else.

    Personally I don’t give a shit what bathroom people use or what they want to be referred to. I’ll go along with whatever… But a woman and a transwoman are different things, and it’s disingenuous to pretend otherwise. Always have been different things and always will be, no matter what the law states, now or in the future.

    Kier’s words are still not transphobia. There is no fear, dislike, prejudice, discrimination, harassment, or violence in his statement. The scream of ‘transphobia’ is thrown around too much for anyone who disagrees with a narrow definition. Any disagreement is labelled as hate, and it’s silly.

    Should a transwoman have the same rights and respect and opportunity as a woman (as per the legal definition)? Absolutely. Are they the same? No, they are not. Is that a hateful bigoted viewpoint worthy of scorn? I don’t believe so.

    I don’t use the term cis. I use the term woman and you knew exactly what I meant. A blonde woman is a description of a woman’s hair colour and is a semantic-based response that is nothing to do with this point. You know this; it’s a foolish riposte that’s nothing at all to do with the clear and simple fact that a woman who used to be a man is not the same thing as a (cis) woman.

    I can call it a woman who used to have a penis or a woman who used to be a man if you want me to be pedantic about it. Nothing to do with hair colour, or skin colour, or anything else except previously being a biological male and now identifying as a woman.

    ‘adult human female’ is not a dog whistle. It’s a legal and common-sense definition that you clearly understand but are trying to make out to be hate for some reason. I am not denying the legitimacy of transwomen; nor is Keir.

    Transwomen and (cis) women are different things. And Transmen and (cis) men are different things. They have different names, which you yourself use for a reason. That reason being they are not the same thing. This is exactly the same as saying transwomen are not women, because they are not. They are transwomen.

    It’s pretty simple.

    • GiveOver@feddit.uk
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      38 minutes ago

      I disagree with this, and I’d downvote it, but it sounds like they’re just repeating what the supreme court said. I don’t think it deserves a ban.

      Completely defederating with us over this is insane

    • stray@pawb.social
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      2 hours ago

      Well, they’re right that it is pretty simple. Here’s a fun experiment for anyone who thinks this isn’t transphobic: try reading it again, but substitute black for trans. Totally reasonable they should have to use another bathroom, right?

    • kbal@fedia.io
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      20 hours ago

      Thank you for posting it. Good to know that Blahaj made the right choice for its users, which really wasn’t obvious otherwise.

      • driving_crooner@lemmy.eco.br
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        21 hours ago

        Just because it’s have a cordial tone, but it’s pretty tranphobic all around the place. Master class on sealioning.

        • Kusimulkku@lemm.ee
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          8 hours ago

          Idk just saying that transwomen and cis women are different doesn’t seem transphobic in and of itself, especially since the person seems to be saying that they should have the same rights now

          • SkyezOpen@lemmy.world
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            3 hours ago

            The whole “I’m not saying ‘cis’” is the biggest red flag. Typically in their mind it’s because cis means “normal” instead of just being an adjective. It’s like the people that say they have nothing against the gays ™ but they don’t like it shoved in their faces. Nothing against them but don’t exist near me energy.

          • npcknapsack@lemmy.ca
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            8 hours ago

            It’s a very polite post on the surface, but do note that they refer to trans women as “it”. I think they’re being very polite because they know that saying “I think trans women are just deluded men and I don’t want to respect those things” doesn’t go as well.

        • TexMexBazooka@lemm.ee
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          21 hours ago

          I mean the basic argument, that trans identifying peoples are in their own distinct categories outside of the typical gender binary, actually has some interesting meat to it.

          Trans men and women do have different experiences from their cisgender counterparts, different medical needs, different journeys. None of which I am experienced enough in the subject to speak to.

          Kinda loses me on their “I don’t use the word cis” part though

          • driving_crooner@lemmy.eco.br
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            21 hours ago

            Op argument is that they are Real Women and then then Women Who Used To Have Penis, reducing the trans experience and identify to the sex they were born into. The part of not using the word cis is not even the worst, imo, like using the word “thing” to talk about people is pretty disgusting, or comparing “blonde women” with “trans women” like if gender identity was just a superficial aspect of a person instead of the fundamental one it is.

            • TexMexBazooka@lemm.ee
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              19 hours ago

              See, I just don’t think what you’ve deduced the argument to was what was actually said.

              • GreyEyedGhost@lemmy.ca
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                13 hours ago

                Think of it from a math perspective. The non-transphobic stance would be that woman is the superset which contains subsets of trans, cis, and others. The comment says they’re two separate sets, woman and transwoman. This is why cis doesn’t have to be used, because woman is sufficient to describe the set, because trans women aren’t part of it.

      • PhilipTheBucketA
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        21 hours ago

        Blahaj admins trumping up something minor into a crisis so they can claim they’re being discriminated against and enact a wild overreactive response?

        I’m shocked. Shocked, I say. Well… not that shocked.

        I mean in fairness, the original messages are a little bit ignorant yes. Mostly I was just trying to quote the accurate background material so people could see the primary source information.

    • Dasus@lemmy.world
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      19 hours ago

      I’m so annoyed by these pseudointellectuals who can’t seem to grasp the relatively simple difference between “sex” and “gender”.

      • atro_city@fedia.io
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        17 hours ago

        I don’t understand what this has to do with the difference between sex and gender. Is “woman” a sex or a gender?

        • Dasus@lemmy.world
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          17 hours ago

          It can vary on the context, but “female” and “male” are “supposed” to refer to biological sex alone.

          That’s why it can be offensive when men talk about women as “females”, and why it also would sound slightly silly to talk about — for instance — women penguins. “Female penguins” sounds much more correct, doesn’t it?

          • stray@pawb.social
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            4 minutes ago

            Women penguins only sounds weird because that’s not the normal word for it. They’re girl penguins or lady penguins. “Woman” feels too formal and human.

          • Don Antonio Magino@feddit.nl
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            4 hours ago

            I’ve never heard of a gender/sex distinction between ‘woman’ and ‘female’, what are you basing this on? By whom is this distinction ‘supposed’ (as you put it) to be a thing?

            I doubt the general public would agree, anyway. In the Cambridge Dictionary, I find ‘female’ defined as ‘belonging or relating to women or girls

            You may of course argue your definition of ‘female’ should be the correct one, but it’s not the common one at the moment. I would think it’d be strange, though, if you couldn’t refer to a trans woman as ‘female’, which your distinction seems to imply.

            • Dasus@lemmy.world
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              4 hours ago

              The general public are a subjective take, and also, dumb as fuck.

              Yeah, sex is related to gender, but it’s not the same thing.

              if you couldn’t refer to a trans woman as ‘female’, which your distinction seems to imply.

              If its your colloquial necessity to objectify women, then I don’t know, be equal and objectify the trans girls as well.

              But if you don’t, then it’s gonna be preferable to address them as “women”, not “females”.

              • Don Antonio Magino@feddit.nl
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                3 hours ago

                If you’re purely referring to ‘female’ as a noun, I do have a similar intuition about ‘female’ (noun) vs. ‘woman’, but it has little to do with objectification and more to do with ‘female’ generally being used in a biological sense, specifically non-human animals.

                As an adjective, ‘female’ is pretty neutral, though.

          • atro_city@fedia.io
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            17 hours ago

            So the problem is the word “female”, not the word “woman”, am I understand this correctly? If I am, then what should the correct sentence/statement be? “A woman is an adult …”

            I’m not trolling, I’m genuinely confused because I thought XX -> female, XY -> male, but there are a bunch of combinations that present themselves / have a male or female phenotype. Is woman supposed to be the gender and female the sex?

            • Dasus@lemmy.world
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              16 hours ago

              Is woman supposed to be the gender and female the sex?

              Yes.

              But like I’ve said, the issue is that most people don’t know their difference between “gender” and “sex”. Hell, my native language doesn’t even have two distinct words, which is a huge negative when trying to educate them on the subject.

              And because they don’t understand the difference, they sometimes, or all the time, think “woman” refers to the biological sex, and thus they insist “men can’t become women”, because biologically you don’t change from male to female, and that is true. But your gender does change from masculine to feminine, so it is not wrong to say that men can become women.

              It’s honestly just a lack understanding. And that lack of understanding stems from fear of seeming stupid, so they fear talking about it and interacting with the subject. Which is why it’s called transphobia, despite those people not necessarily being directly afraid of trans people.

              Languages, or gender identities, are never quite as straight forward as we’d like them to be.

              • atro_city@fedia.io
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                16 hours ago

                OK. That makes sense. But why is it offensive to refer to certain women as females and certain men as males?

                It seems to be the correct terminology to be more specific e.g “she’s a male woman” makes more sense to me than transwoman because I never know which “direction” it is (transitioned to woman or transitioned from woman). And if would also be clearer to say that somebody is male/female for those that don’t want a question to “linger” whether it’s what they identify as or whether they were born that way.

                my native language doesn’t even have two distinct words

                It seems like only romance languages do, because they have “gendre”. I do wonder which other languages do.

                • Dasus@lemmy.world
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                  16 hours ago

                  Other languages have gender as well. And we have a word for gender. It’s just the same word as for “sex”, but we do have words for “woman”, “man”, “male” and “female”, so you might ask “kumpi sukupuoli” (which sex/gender) and depending on context, you’d reply either “man/woman” or “male/female” as in “mies/nainen” for man/woman and “uros/naaras” for a biological sex, however those terms are even more clearly not for humans than in English. As in English, a cop might reasonably say “suspect is a white male, six foot”, etc, but no Finnish cops would ever use “uros”. You could in very specific contexts perhaps sometimes use those for people, if you’re like trying to invoke animal imagery for very masculine males or something, but it’d be closer to “bitch” almost than “female” to call a woman “naaras” in Finnish. Not really, but it wouldn’t be far off. It’s like almost halfway between those, I’d say.

                  “she’s a male woman” makes more sense to me than transwoman because I never know which “direction” it is

                  Well if there’s “trans” in front of the “man” or “woman” that’s like having - in front of a number. Like 7 isn’t the same as -7 you know? They look similar, but it’s not hard to learn. That being said, I do actually agree with you that that would be the correct terminology, however we can’t really ascribe rules to language and I can see reminding people that they’re not “true” women, but “male” women would be like deadnaming. There’s just no need to specify. A woman is a woman. A woman is a gender, or should be, and that’s the direction we’re taking the language in. (And by “us” I mean “the woke people” as opposed to the transphobes and conservative fucknuts) Be you short, tall, black, trans or even ginger, you’re still a woman, they’re all just adjectives. Unless there’s honestly a genuine need to specify, then what’s the point of having that adjective there?

                  Trans women are women, quite simply.

                  • atro_city@fedia.io
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                    4 hours ago

                    Other languages have gender as well. And we have a word for gender. It’s just the same word as for “sex”,

                    You misunderstood me. I’m talking about languages that do have different words for gender and sex. Romance languages do, but I wonder which other languages do as well. If you look at the wiktionary, languages that do have their own different words for it are in the minority. Most seem to borrow it from English.

                    Anyway, it seems like gender studies have a lot of work to do bringing their point across. It doesn’t look like they’re doing a good job, because it seems to be in a state of flux and the chosen terminology is extremely confusing as it overloads or seeks to replace an existing term with a new definition. And when someone doesn’t understand, often they are written off as a transphobe (luckily not in our discussion) and called out instead of called in.
                    The wikipedia article on the word “woman” starting off with “A woman is an adult female human” parses terribly. A ‘gender’ is an adult ‘sex’ human. Wat?

                    Had it been “A ‘new term’ is an adult human presenting as a woman”, it would’ve been waaaay easier to point someone to it and say “see, this is what I mean when I use ‘new term’”. Instead we ge discussions like these where someone has to explain “Look, the definition says this, but the ‘old term’ doesn’t refer to the old concept, but to the new concept. I know it doesn’t mention the new concept, but if you read the whole thing, you’ll see that it’s complicated, but can be broken down to ‘new term’ are ‘old term’” and by then you’ve lost a bunch of people who just aren’t interested and would rather talk about politics or the weather.

                    But thanks for being more illuminating than the wikipedia article. What a terrible article.

        • CanadianCorhen@lemmy.ca
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          17 hours ago

          ‘Female’ is a sex, while ‘woman’ is a gender.

          Sex refers to biological characteristics like chromosomes, hormones, and reproductive anatomy. That’s why we say things like ‘female dog’ or ‘male cat’—we’re talking about biological sex, not identity.

          Gender, on the other hand, is a social and cultural construct—it includes roles, behaviors, and identities that society associates with being a ‘woman’ or a ‘man.’ That’s why it makes sense to say ‘a woman wears makeup’ or ‘a man wears a suit,’ but not ‘a male wears makeup.’ Saying ‘a male wears makeup’ sounds off because makeup is associated with gender expression, not biological sex.

          • atro_city@fedia.io
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            16 hours ago

            The wikipedia article is a jumbled mess then.

            A woman is an adult female human.

            That seems to be an incorrect definition. Shouldn’t it be “A woman is a human identifying as female”?

            • CanadianCorhen@lemmy.ca
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              16 hours ago

              I mean, sure? Not really? Language is imprecise, and different peoples in different cultural backgrounds will use it slightly differently, and to me both read as interchangeable. I’m not an expert in this area, nor am I trans, and this is getting into the detailed weeds of gender and human sciences.

              “Through transition, a transgender person aligns their gender expression, legal status, and often their physical sex characteristics (through hormones or surgery) with their internal gender identity.”

              • atro_city@fedia.io
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                5 hours ago

                Language is imprecise, but definitions should be precise. Because reading that article is very confusing when sex and gender are constantly being mixed up. People who are confused, like me, are then accused of being “transphobic”, but how are we supposed to understand when even the definition mixes things up? Not everybody wants to have a similar discussion as we just had, in order to somewhat understand what’s going on.

                Reading the wikipedia article confuses people even further. The comment that caused defederation looks very much like the person read the wikipedia article which states “A woman is an adult female human” and continued down that path. In fact it’s even the very first thing they say.

                • superkret@feddit.org
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                  3 hours ago

                  It is complicated and messy, which is why, if it doesn’t directly concern you, maybe the correct thing to do is to not weigh in with your opinion.