lattrommi

Crime means breaking the law, correct?

No location is named, so I will assume this refers the laws of physics and reality.

I would:

• expand time so that it lasts a near infinite duration, contained entirely within this day of no crime
• transmute a bunch of the rocks in my apartment into gold
• alter my DNA to include working wings like a bat, a prehensile tail like a monkey, gills like a salamander, enviromental adaptability like a chameleon that’s selective so I can hide these enhancements from others
• one more enhancement related to a very specific part of the anatomy of a horse or blue whale, or whatever it is people want these days
• remove all genetic defects of my body, like susceptability to cancer and addictions, grant it full immunity to diseases, put it into a perfect equilibrium with near instantaneous regeneration and longevity and thus allowing my life to last as long as I desire
• create a star from nothing and collapse it in a way that stores all of its energy into a pocket sized battery with perfect functionality and adaptability that is nearly indestructable
• hold hands with two chicks at the same time

It’s fun to dream of the impossible.

I made an account and did a one time donation for $2.50. This removes the website donation banner. As long as I’m logged in, I do not see those messages. I get an email about donating once a year, possibly twice. Infrequently enough to be unsure of how often it has happened. If I ever see the donation banner on the website, I know I am logged out. So I can’t answer your query about the corporate aspect but I can say that the heartstring tugging can easily be solved with a one time donation for a small amount. You can do a custom amount for a donation so theoretically it could be for $0.01 or your lowest fiat equivalent.

just in case someone sticks it in a working drive, add a file to the floppy named

autorun.inf

and add the following to it with a text editor:

[autorun]
open=Microsoft.Media.Player.exe
icon=icon.ico

while i doubt it will actually work, if it does, it would be quite hilarious in my opinion. there’s probably, hopefully, safeguards that prevent such a thing from working and i likely have the syntax wrong, i haven’t used windows in years.

I was not aware of bathing causing dehydration but I can see how it makes sense. Thanks for the correction!

Terrible advice unless it’s with edibles. Smoking weed (or anything else) will lead to dry socket most likely and should be avoided at all costs.

Hi. You’ve gotten a lot of comments already. I hope this one is not lost in the pile.

When I was 39 I had all my remaining teeth extracted in one go. There were somewhere between 12 and 18, since many were remnants and not whole teeth.

Due to the fact that previously in my life I had addictions of many kinds, mostly alcohol and meth related, I was not prescribed opiates. When the procedure was done, I was awake and given only a local anesthetic.

After they were removed, I was given Amoxicillin (antibiotic) and Prednisone (steriod). They recommended I take Ibuprofen and to avoid acetaminophen (same as paracetamol i think). The latter due to many over the counter versions of it have caffiene. That brings me to my first advice.

Avoid caffeine at all costs. It will increase your pain, make you edgier and you may grind your gums in your sleep. Check your paracetamol packaging, make sure it does not have caffeine. You might want to avoid it regardless because it can irritate your stomach lining and you’ll be swallowing a lot of blood which increases your chance of vomiting.

If you vomit, you will almost certainly get dry socket.

You do not want dry socket.

Ice cream is painful. Anything too cold or too hot is painful. Soup should be room temperature.

Bouillon cubes aren’t bad, if you can get liquid soup stock or broth, it works better.

Do not eat breads for at least a week or two. It sticks to you clots. That can easily lead to dry socket.

You do not want dry socket.

Same thing with (american) bananas. They might seem perfect but they can cause dry socket potentially from their stickiness.

I have had dry socket. Once from smoking cigarettes. Once from being clumsy with a spoon. It was the worst pain of my life until I had to pass a few kidney stones.

Avoid foods that require cooking. You don’t want to cook.

One a day shakes should be your new best friend. Meal replacement shakes. Here in the states they come in chocolate and vanilla and don’t taste terrible. Brands include Ensure, Boost, Slimfast and a ton of others. They are packed with protein. They often have vitamins in them too. You can just pour the shake right into the back of your gullet. Bypass your gums and tongue entirely.

Another medication to consider is sleeping pills. I’m spelling them wrong but see if you can get Amitryptaline or Tramadol. Sleep as much as you can while your body heals.

Water, water, water.

Drink at least 2 liters a day. Never drink more than 1 liter in an 8 hour period because water poisoning is very uncomfortable. If your pee is clear, you don’t need to drink water for awhile. The better hydrated you are, the faster you will heal. Drink a lot of water after drinking one of those meal replacement shakes if you can find them. Your body will absorb the water better. Same applies to the soup stock.

On that note, shower. If it is too painful, take a bath. Again, this helps you stay hydrated, plus is will improve your mood possibly, which in itself can ease the pain.

Move. Walk around the block if you can. You want to get your heart rate up and keep it up for about 15 minutes, twice a day. Again, this helps your body heal faster. Walking is great unless you are a daily runner, in which case run. Walking is enough for most people.

A perfect routine would be:

1. Wake up. Drink some water.
2. Drink a protein shake and some water. Take your medications with them.
3. Walk around the block. Or if unsafe or to pained, walk in place. Get that heart rate up.
4. Shower or bath.
5. Go back to sleep.
6. Repeat 3-4x per day, depending on how much you can sleep. It gets harder to sleep the more your do it. The exercise helps a lot.

I am not a dentist or medical professional.

I am not a professional of any kind.

This advice is all from personal experience.

Here’s some useless personal information that can be skipped:

December of 2021 when my teeth were all removed. Since then I have gotten dentures. They didn’t fit and hurt to wear and needed adjustments, but the dentist that made them quit the business a week after I got them. Other dentists would not take my insurance or work on them for liability purposes. Sucks being in america. I opted to get implants instead. I’m supposed to have a full set of teeth in about a month, at age 42, for the first time in my entire adult life.

Good luck. May dry socket never happen to you.

Edit after reading a few of the comments here.

Fuck these naysayers that think you’re making this up. Even if you are, fuck 'em. Trying to shit on a person while they are already down. No benefit at all, just cynics, they’re disgusting.

I’m going to add that my teeth were in terrible shape long before I had addiction problems. My dental problems were due to braces getting fucked up and mangled beyond belief by a scammy dentist/ortho.

Medicaid and Medicare can be free healthcare in the states. While I don’t think OP is in the states, it is a thing that the poorest of people can receive and the care is exactly what you pay for. All the questions about speaking to a doctor or the dentist about pain management are laughable, knowing that for the poor in the states, that simply doesn’t happen in many areas.

People saying OP deserved it from not brushing or questions about how one could need a full extraction at age 40 are ignorant and can’t summon even the smallest bit of empathy. These types along with the naysayers can go fuck off back to reddit or 4chan or whereever they came from. They are not adding to the conversation.

If you have read all this, anyone not just OP, I hope you have a nice day.

to reply to the question posed within the meme itself:

using the same physics which allow the creature to exist, i would create a device that consists of reflecting and refracting matter, like prisms, echo chambers, mirrors and lenses, with the overall capability to reflect and project a distorted ‘circus mirror’ holograph version of the creature at a subatomic level, which appears to be an order of magnitude larger, directly behind it.

then, when it turns around to face its new illusory foe, i would tie its shoelaces together.