Sounds like your freezer isn’t actually getting cold enough for the ice cream. Semi-melted Tilamook will get whipped-esque if not cold enough. Put a digital thermometer in there for a while and see what temp it’s holding! No ice cream is “drop metal into it and it slides to the bottom” unless it’s not cold enough

As for ice cream consistency, afaik more cream content (which is better ice cream) will be softer at the same temperature compared to ice cream with more water content (shit ice cream). Breyers regular (I think they have a fancy attempt with more cream) is pretty watery, Tilamook is creamed up

(Do you notice a lot of frost on stuff? That is a sign of a bad seal and (humid) air is getting in)

Dipshits don’t even get it’s this based on this painting https://musee-magnin.fr/en/node/19 which is in a French museum, about the gods of Olympus, and includes the lyre you see in the recreation. It’s not the last supper which is in Italy and not in France. Similar framing of course - clearly on purpose - but who cares. What dumbasses, outrage machine go burrr

Closing in on 40k drip, get a priest to put an altar on it for some mobile deity blessings and we’re basically there