Eight year olds, dude.

When your favorite sports team’s stars are younger than you.

This is actually the Secret Service 's main charter.

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You’re looking for https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Character_encoding Which explains the funny characters.

We bought coffee mugs with it etched on them; we use them daily.

Unfortunately, those aren’t designed for your drinking experience; they’re designed to make you drink as much high-margin beverage as possible.

I propose no ads ever anywhere

All microwaves can be silenced with a big enough mute bat button.

Who is we?

Lie day?

We do. Next question.