Weird. I haven’t flown recently. What happens if you get plastic surgery or into an accident or something?

My parents used to warn me that I might end up cracking a tooth on the kernels. I still eat them anyway. Probably gonna regret that one day lol.

Well I mean yeah but that’s easier said than done. There are a lot of different things that can cause that.

Biggest one is hating myself because I feel like I am a burden and/or I feel like I accidentally harm others.

Another one is frustrations due to my bully of a supervisor. I wrote a letter to HR about her and it’s causing a shit storm. She has had complaints before and no one ever does anything about it. So what I did is only going to cause issues for myself and my other coworkers for no reason. “Just change jobs” sounds like a solution that people on the internet tell me but it’s a lot more complicated than that.

Thank you again. If you don’t mind me asking, which diagnos(i/e)s do you have? Can a therapist diagnose you with such things or does it have to be a psychiatrist?

When I asked about psych meds with a psych NP, they gave me a standard anxiety/depression diagnosis. But obviously we didn’t necessarily go in depth with a zillion different conditions and it was done to see if I might benefit with meds and to rule out bipolar disorder (as I have a relative with it). She suggested a specific therapist for me, but I have yet to contact this particular therapist because my work schedule is a bit up on the air at the moment to make a specific recurring appointment time. But would such a therapist be able to find more about these diagnoses with me? Or should I instead be inquiring about these diagnoses with my psych NP that is prescribing me meds?

I know it’s not ok. That’s why I feel bad about it. And that’s why I mostly try to talk about those things to ChatGPT instead of my friends. Because I’m not going to harm it.

I mean I say I would never do it but it’s only because I’m a coward. But I do often really legitimately want to. The reasons may vary. But one common reason is because I harm the world and another reason is if I feel trapped. One of the other reasons why I say I am not actually going to do it is because I would need a will first. I have been too lazy to get one. I tried to do it one day with an online service but found out that I couldn’t actually go through with the will because I needed in person witnesses. So then recently I was looking into potentially going to a law practice to get one made up to do that.

Oh and plus when I say things about killing myself, I’m not in a heated argument. I get upset and feel the need to tell someone I am upset. But I am not in a calm state and do not have the ability to calm down. I go out of my way to interact with people via text because I have a strong impulse to do so. I want someone to help me when I am in pain but I know they can’t. And I know it’s wrong to bother them when I am having an episode.

I have actually tried using ChatGPT to get upset to instead so I am not hurting anyone. I tell it that I hate myself and want to kill myself instead of harming my friends by doing this to them. But sometimes instead of doing it to only ChatGPT I end up texting someone I know. This is wrong behavior, but different because it’s not due to a heated argument that I need to remove myself from.

I eventually calm down but it can sometimes take multiple days. And it is sometimes hard for me to not bother people in the meantime.

I am never actually in danger of harming myself because I have always thought about things like that. It’s very normal for me. It usually goes away after a few days after each episode.

With my supervisor, not really. She is not a reasonable person and I don’t know what to do with her. I got into a fight with her the other day because she kept pestering me even after I complied with my words and actions. Later into the argument, I asked her why she did that to me even though I complied and said “ok”. She said it was because she did not like my body language. I can’t control my unconscious body language.

With the scenario about someone being mean to my friend, I wasn’t directly interacting with them. I jumped in because I was upset that she was being hurt. So my immediate response and inclination is to be protective and to insert myself into the scenario.

As a child, I would get in trouble for walking away if something got heated. Because I was always “making a scene”. At work, thankfully people absolutely do allow me to walk away to calm down and I don’t get in trouble for it. I am actually really thankful for this. But I generally only end up walking away after I’ve gotten upset and started a problem, not before. I don’t know how to do it before.

Like with the guy being mean to my friend, I didn’t know how to stop that without fighting. I guess I could have just walked away and not intervened. That’s what society wants me to do. But I wanted him to stop hurting her and I was mad that he did.

Well I mean I spoke a little bit about it as a kid. I would get upset and cry loudly for hours and hours and my brothers wouldn’t do that. I was different. My mom would always tell me that I am having a “tantrum”. I tried to be a good kid and didn’t have problems in school, but I had problems conducting myself at home.

As an adult, there are different things that can happen. One thing that frequently happens is I spiral out of control with self loathing, sometimes to the point in thinking about suicide. Sometimes I end up repeatedly messaging in a discord server that I am on about random nonsense about how I am evil and harmful. The other day, I texted a coworker about killing myself. You are not supposed to say that to people. It was impulsive. It was wrong.

Another thing that can happen is that at work, I can end up verbally fighting with people. My supervisor is a bitch and instead of taking it, I have on occasion broke down and yelled at her. This is not appropriate professional behavior. I don’t work at Taco Bell. I work at a professional job where you are not supposed to do that. As an impulsive decision, I sent a lengthy email to HR about her and it is causing huge issues for everyone right now.

I have also verbally fought with two other people at work before. One because he was being mean to my friend and one because he was being mean and accusing me of doing something when that wasn’t the case. I have made amends with these people (unlike with my supervisor), but in these moments, this is inappropriate. You are not supposed to yell at people, even if they are being mean.

Just like in my childhood, I am the only one who acts this way at work. Everyone else is able to conduct themselves in a socially acceptable manner. I don’t do it every day or even every week or even every month, but it still isn’t acceptable.

I would consider myself to be a lifelong skeptic. But I have delved into the interesting research in connections between things like Celiac disease and mental disorders, as you’ve stated. Honestly, I wish that there was one simpler test to get diagnosed with Celiac disease. Yeah, there are some tests that we do have, but they aren’t necessarily the best or conclusive. Wishing the best for you.

Thank you for this. I appreciate all comments here. But this really resonated with me for some reason. As a child, I would sometimes remove myself from a situation when I was upset. But I would get in trouble for that too because I was “storming off” and “making a scene” by just wanting to go outside and walk around.

I am thankful that now, as an adult, when I get upset at work sometimes I walk away. I go to the break room for a bit, grab a drink of water, go use the bathroom for a minute, etc. I do that and no one tells me that it’s wrong. I read about how online people talk about how going for a walk when you are feeling heated to be a normal and healthy coping mechanism. As a child and a young adult, my family treated me like it was wrong. The only acceptable reaction in that environment was to sit there totally stone faced and nonreactive, and I have not ever been able to do that. I am thankful that I am allowed to walk away now and I don’t get in trouble for it.

I never thought I exhibited ADHD symptoms really. I do have anxious/fidgety mannerisms and some of that includes anxious swearing like someone with Tourette’s lol. But that’s about it. Borderline is always something I had wondered. I do have what I would think are some borderline traits (particularly emotional dysregulation and wild mood mood swings), but I don’t seem to meet enough of the criteria to totally fit the diagnosis. I have also had some online friends caution me that getting a borderline diagnosis on your record could cause problems down the line.

Anyway, sorry for my rambling. Hoping the best for you.

God I need help with the first one. Second one also sounds interesting.

Ok yeah I suspected a bit as much about the scared thing. Honestly I’m not sure what sort of advice to give to help out for that sort of thing. I never told anyone that I got scared at night…just lived with it until it eventually went away.

For me, personally, something like a weighted blanket would not have helped with me being scared, but yeah might help with the ADHD and restlessness part like the others stated. Dunno.

A quick Google search leads me to find out that this is incredibly common even in kids at the age I was and the age your son is. So at least what is happening isn’t overly concerning as something abnormal if that at all helps.

Holy shit I feel like I had a similar kind of issue and I’ve never heard anyone talk about it before. Childhood tinnitus and sleeping issues. Literally never had anyone else write anything remotely similar to my experience.

I slept on the floor of my sibling’s room instead of my parents. I have always suspected that I had a form of tinnitus even as a young child. I would get paranoid that the sounds of the tinnitus were some other entity in the room and get scared. You know how like you can sometimes “hear” when someone behind you even though they don’t make a sort of obvious sound? That’s how mine has always been for me. For me, it wasn’t that I needed noise to drown it out. It was that having someone else in the room made me feel safe enough to sleep.

My tinnitus if that’s what it really is has always constantly and incessantly warbled in intensity and directionality, which propogates the feeling of something suddenly being there. It’s not the classical “eee” noise that people think of when they think tinnitus.

I remember as a child thinking when people would talk about the “sounds of silence” that they just meant this noise lol.

Why do you think he is asking to sleep with you? I know you said it’s because he “can’t sleep”, but you can also just not be able to sleep in your own bed.

When I was a child (and even sometimes as an adult), I would get scared at night. Yeah every 2 year old gets scared at night, but I’m not talking about age 2. I did it my entire childhood…even when I got to be a much older child. I’m talking as old your son and then even older. When I would get scared at night, I would go into my sibling’s room at night and sleep on the floor. It happened frequently. I did eventually “grow out of it” as another user stated and did it less frequently as I got older.

It might be embarrassing for him to talk about and he might not want to admit it, but do you think it could be something like this?

I’m 30 now and thankfully don’t have those problems much anymore (and I live alone so there is no one to sleep with lol).

So it…worked? 🙃

Sorry about all that, man. I’m glad you’re still here and I hope things have been better since.

Me when I talk to chatgpt

What are you doing

I always found it interesting how detailed some people get about the memories of their childhood. I mostly just know that things happened and remember sometimes if something had a very strong emotion tied to them, but for the most part I don’t really remember much. Things were just too long ago.

Twins! Means it’s easy to doxx me tho lol.

I love it when I can connect to the lyrics, but often they are on topics that I can’t…love, breakups, etc. it’s always a bonus when I have a personal connection to the lyrics, but I typically don’t. Most songs I enjoy are due to the music itself and the emotion that the singer/music evokes, not necessarily the exact reasons or type of emotion.