You didn’t tell us when he asks if everything is OK. That is a large omission, and I hope you can update the original post with examples of what led up to the question being asked.

I’m a nurse and where I work at we all have to eat together, meaning I’m a captive audience and have to be there, like it or not. My coworkers are so special if I eat alone, away from them, they’ll come to me later and ask if everything’s all right. If I eat my lunch together with them but read a book, they invariably ask if everything’s all right.

I cannot win here. They need this level of attention and I just want to be left alone.

“When you ask me if everything’s ok, it makes me feel pressured/put on the spot.”

have you ever done this yourself? To me it makes me look weak, giving them something they can use to attack me.

The use of ‘insinuating’ sounds like you’re filling in a lot of blank space with your own narrative.

kinda disagree:

I’m the quiet one and most extroverts where I work at find that offensive. they feel offended because I don’t ask them about their lives, lives I don’t care about. I’ve told 3 coworkers already that I don’t talk to them because I have to work and they react aggressively and feel offended, fully convinced I don’t talk to them because I hate them.

But keep not doing their jobs, meaning I have to do my job and theirs while they keep talking.

you are right. thanks!

you rule!

thank you for defending me, but as you can see, being a minority is not easy: a neutrally worded and genuine question is met by animosity because people like maalus simply don’t understand or don’t want to understand. And he get’s upvoted. Even worse, he and his followers assume malevolence.

Just wanted you to know that I appreciate the feeling, but they are more and talk waaay more.

But still, I don’t know what to tell my delicate coworkers.

And make no mistake, this post will also be downvoted…

Workplace conversation should be casual at all times, no overly personal stuff, no hot button topics ever. If things are that friendly, meet up outside work and get back to the job. Not because of some bullshit protestant work ethic or capitalist bullshit, but because you agreed to do a thing for a period of time, and fucking around while the job is still on is lame.

exactly…

so how do you survive them? and on a daily basis?