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Cake day: June 9th, 2023

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  • Muun@lemmy.worldtoAsklemmy@lemmy.mlParent to Moderate YouTube
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    10 days ago

    My son’s only 8 so I have no personal experience parenting a tween/teen. So take that into consideration with my advice.

    How about the next time you’re watching with them, try this:

    "I was raised allowed to moderate my own content because I was trusted to be intelligent and wise enough to critically select what I watched or read and learn from the mistakes I made if I consumed something negatively influential. I have tried to extend this same trust to you, but the constant repetition of what you hear and your inability to form a cogent argument makes me feel like your YouTube viewing habits are teaching you to accept concepts at face-value simply because they are popular.

    If you will engage with me in a discussion on these videos, I’ll leave you alone and continue to trust you on this. However, if you continue to shrug and dismiss the conversation, I will have to consider blocking this content until you are ready to engage with me on a deeper level."

    I know modern parenting advice tells us to prefer reward over punishment so if there’s a reward strong enough to motivate them to engage, go with that. But if punishment is a greater motivator, I’d say damn the modern parenting advice.




  • Hello fellow introvert. I too have struggled with these dynamics in the past.

    Im introverted and have always enjoyed my solitude. Some people have complained that I don’t talk much, which is true, I don’t need to talk to feel good.

    but jesus christ, others outright avoid even eye contact with me like the plague, even though I kept greeting them for at least 2 more days.

    Sounds like you’ve met people similar to you. How would you prefer others handle you? I’m guessing it’s “ditch the small chat, and get to the point”. I’d say, treat these people like that. Focus all your conversations with them purely on the shared work and leave them alone otherwise.

    I confess neither do I know how to react when people are friendly when I’m talking to a coworker they like but the moment this coworker leaves, they turn to a mute.

    It’s likely that they have an established working relationship with the other person but not you and so they freeze up in a 1:1 scenario. Just continue to engage with them in group settings until you establish rapport.

    It’s also a bit funny: 2 coworkers that the first day had small but normal conversations with me now look elsewhere when they see me… and I give them back the same treatment. Childish and petty? extremely, but I ask you: what should I do?

    You don’t have to do much. Continue to be friendly with them and if they don’t reciprocate just engage with them on the work alone. If you need something from them, ditch the small talk, explain the problem clearly and explain what you need from them.

    I think you’re trying to take a one size fits all approach here. You need to adapt to each individual. For those who want to be friendly and chatty, hit them up and engage with them. Find them to be boring? You pretend to care, ask them a few follow-up questions (people love to talk about their interests) and then glance at your watch and say “ugh, I’m really sorry to interrupt, I’ve got to <attend this meeting>/<finish this report>/<insert whatever it is you have due here>”.