A friend of a friend is the daughter of a Russian oligarch. It was a messy situation in which she was at risk of being drawn into the politics, even though her dad was an asshole who she would’ve been glad to see defenestrated. I only know the surface level info, but it sounds like a fucked up situation in many ways

What’s really stupid about this cycle is that some of these fail-upward executives genuinely believe the crap they’re spewing. Weirdly, I think I respect the grifting executives more

Edit: by grifting executives, I mean the ones who participate in that cycle you describe, and are aware of the harms they cause in their wake, but don’t care because they’ve gotten good at knowing when to skip out

I don’t typically experience imposter syndrome.

However, it is my understanding that the majority of people I know seem to experience imposter syndrome (likely influenced by the fact that my social circle is mostly academics)

Thus I seem to be the odd one out in this respect, paradoxically causing me to feel like an imposter for not experiencing imposter syndrome.

¯\_(ツ)_/¯

A sex worker friend told me that he had some homophobic (male) clients who didn’t seem to be gay, but frequented male sex workers. This confused me, but he explained that it seems to be part of a convoluted humiliation kink thing, rather than attraction.

For example, I know a subby guy whose domme makes him kiss her feet. She does this because he finds feet gross, and thus ordering him thus is a humiliating and submissive act that he ultimately finds hot. This association has become strong enough that even outside of the specific context of scenes with his domme, he finds the prospect of footplay arousing, whilst simultaneously still being grossed out by feet. He finds the paradoxical vibes of this hilarious, and indeed, reports that it’s one of the things he finds fulfilling about kink play.

In the case of homophobic straight men who have gay sex, it’s far more psychosexually complex. However, one plausible angle of it is that some men may actually just want to be pegged, but conservative attitudes may mean that being fucked by a woman with a strap-on is perceived as more taboo and transgressive than being fucked by another man.

Another bizarre example my friend relayed to me was an instance of a man who engaged in gay sex as a form of self-harm that was felt to be deserved due to being insufficiently masculine. In this scenario, the homophobic client was topping. The guy apparently seemed to believe in a sort of “conservation of masculinity” in penetrative sex. For example, let’s say that any act of penetrative sex (anal or vaginal, it matters not) contains a total of 10 arbitrary units of masculinity. In this guy’s ideal of How Sex Should Be, the penetrative partner would contain all 10 units of masculinity, and his partner, with 0 units of masculinity, would be the mostly womanly woman to ever woman. However, this dude was pretty insecure in his masculinity, and he would probably rate himself as having only 6 units of masculinity. This is sufficient for him to feel comfortable being the one who penetrates his partner, but by the principle of conservation of masculinity, this would mean that “balanced” sex would involve a partner with 4 units of masculinity.

I don’t intend to kink shame anyone, but frankly I find this bizarre, because it sounds like this guy is genuinely quite disgusted by having sex with another man (and likely not attracted to men either), but feels even more disgusted by the prospect of feeling insufficiently masculine and having sex with a woman. It’s like the gay sex is a punishment for not attaining the impossible ideal of hegemonic masculinity. I asked my friend if it wasn’t more likely that the dude is just gay and has a heckton of internalised homophobia to work through, but he was pretty sure of his assessment. I’m told that the job involves a surprising amount of “I’m not a therapist, but I’m the closest thing you have to one, so let’s talk”.

Superficially, this book looks like one that I would enjoy (if not for your anti-recommendation causing me to steer clear). Because of this, I would wager that you would have an interesting answer to “if someone was considering the above book, what’s a book you would recommend they read instead?”.

In the spirit of “take a book, leave a book”, one of my favourite non-fiction books for a general audience is “Power, Sex, Suicide: Mitochondria and the Meaning of Life”. This recommendation is beyond the topic of the current thread, but in terms of enjoyable books that made me feel smarter, I love this one; I read it as a biochemistry undergraduate, and I was surprised at how much I learned from it.

I think you’re highlighting two different problems here.

I agree that Gen Z and younger are, on average, far worse at basic computer skills than many seem to assume. It makes me reflect on my tech-learning throughout my childhood, as a Millennial. I think that part of it is that many erroneously assume that because Gen Z has grown up online, that this will lead to proficiency, but the kind of tech they’ve been exposed to is largely walled gardens and oversimplified UIs. That assumption of proficiency leads to scenarios where their lack of skill is only discovered when they enter college, or the workplace. I am astounded at the prospect of people not even knowing the difference between “Cut and Paste” and “Copy and Paste”. It’s grim.

The poor quality of journalism may be linked to this, but I think it’s larger than that. It seems like it’s not a great time to be a journalist at the moment (my writer friends tell me that increasingly, the only work they’re able to find is copy-editing AI shit). Private equity is fucking up so much of the world — journalism included. Polygon is an example of an outlet that was apparently sustainably profitable, before it was sold and experienced mass lay-offs; an individual company’s success doesn’t matter to the big conglomerate that owns it. I know that other journalistic companies have fallen to the same fate too.

It also seems that tech journalism ends up being especially shit. I didn’t start noticing it properly until I watched this podcast episode from “Tech Won’t Save Us”. The TL;DW of it is that tech journalists like Kara Swisher like to pretend that they speak truth to power, and fire hard-hitting questions at big tech people, when that’s patently bullshit and it’s clear that they only get the access that they do by playing softball with the powerful. We can’t blame a few individuals for the entirety of the tech journalism problem, but I reckon it’s a big part of it when so many of the established, big names in this space don’t seem interested in actually doing tech journalism (and smaller names who want to ask journalistically interesting questions don’t get platforms or access to ask those questions).

Our information ecosystem is not in a great place. I’ve found it tremendously beneficial to curate the news and information I’m exposed to (praise be RSS), but that has been a gradual process of actively working to notice good journalism in the world and build up my mental “rolodex” of people whose perspectives I trust to be worthwhile (even if I don’t necessarily agree with said perspectives). However, this is an area that I care deeply about, and thus it feels worthwhile to spend that energy to curate my infosphere. Most people won’t have the inclination or energy to do this work, which is unfortunate.

“I inspected RAM to double check.”

That’s an unhinged level of commitment. Respect — I dig it

Saaaaaame. I’ve heard that semi-colons are similarly associated with LLMs; This is another thing that feels like an attack on me personally.

It’s a good answer. I like to think it says something for my own techiness that I am able to fully parse your answer, even if I’m not Gentoo levels of techy myself

Only water when the soil is dry at least an inch deep. When you do water, water thoroughly, until water is freely coming from the drainage holes in the bottom. An optional way to water thoroughly is to let the plant pot stand in a tray of water for half an hourish (I use an inch or so of water). This is called “bottom up watering”

Make sure that any pot you use has drainage holes. A common mistake beginners make is to plant directly into decorative pots that have no drainage holes. This is bad because when the soil doesn’t have enough chance to dry out between waterings, it leads to root rot. You can still use a pretty pot if you want, just make sure that you have an inner pot with drainage holes that you can take out of the exterior pot when it’s watering time. (The decorative exterior pots can be useful for causing things to tip over less).

Finally, don’t assume that succulents or cacti will be happy in bright, direct sun. They can still get scorched.

I liked it more than season 3. It gave a sense of closure in many respects, and if the show had ended here, I would’ve been happy with that.

Thanks for this perspective. I cringed so hard at the part about the guy with the PhD being listened to over you, because I know so many dumbasses with PhDs.

I’ve not listened to that episode, but I remember that when I first learned about Robert Maxwell’s legacy, I was astounded by also unsurprised (because it made a lot of things make sense in hindsight). As an ex-academic, I’m especially pissed off.

“Actually i think the effort they are making is cool. It goes well beyond piracy and I think is a good idea esp in face of the world rn.”

I agree. I remember recently their blog had a post about how shadow libraries are more important now than they’ve ever been, and it made a compelling case. I started reading that piece expecting some thin justification about breaking the law (like a guy I knew who argued that it was ethical for him to deal drugs because the stuff he sold was super pure so it was basically harm reduction. It’s not that I disagreed with that point per se, but rather that I knew it was just bullshit he told himself so he felt ethically okay doing the only job that was viable for him). In the case of Anna’s Archive though, I was quite quickly won over by their arguments about the societal importance of the service (I was already won over on the individual benefit side of things)

It’s an especially bad site because it also has links to other external naughty services, like Z-library.

Heck yeah. Rock on

I’d imagine salt would make it taste worse for the same reasons why salt makes food taste better, but this is just me being facetious

Whilst not open source, I appreciate that the notes are locally stored in straightforward markdown. I no longer use Obsidian, but I appreciated how there was next to no platform lock-in (the only snag I experienced in moving to a different note taking approach was a couple of plugins that gave additional features. But that’s easy to avoid if portability of data is important)

I’m inclined to agree. I hate AI, and I especially hate artists and other creatives being shafted, but I’m increasingly doubtful that copyright is an effective way to ensure that they get their fair share (whether we’re talking about AI or otherwise).

I don’t use Mastodon, but I wonder if you can follow the link to a Lemmy community from your Mastodon client, or search it from within Mastodon. Given that you found this post somehow, it makes sense to test using this community, so here’s a link to try: https://lemmy.world/c/news