• Gorilladrums@lemmy.world
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    10 hours ago

    The most biphobic people I’ve ever seen are gay people. They hate bi people more than your average straight homophobe hates gay people. It’s really weird.

    • BigBananaDealer@lemm.ee
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      6 hours ago

      reminds me of the scene in chasing amy where alyssa gets ostracized by her lesbian club because shes now dating a guy

      • Gorilladrums@lemmy.world
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        7 hours ago

        I never understood biphobia, a bi person choosing to be in a relationship with you means that they chose you out of everybody. It should be a feeling of flattery, not paranoia.

    • altphoto@lemmy.today
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      10 hours ago

      Seriously? I have to tell my wife. She’s sometimes open and sometimes closed to the idea of a threesome or just bisexuality.

      • Gorilladrums@lemmy.world
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        10 hours ago

        I mean it’s obviously different from person to person, but the gay people I’ve met, especially lesbians, have a genuine irrational fear and hatred of bi people. They’re terrified that bi people will cheat on them or will leave them for straight people. They see them as straight people who are pretending to be gay rather than actually being bi.

        • theangryseal@lemmy.world
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          9 hours ago

          Wellll, my wife is bi. I have a constant (not really constant, just when my insecurity is dragged out by a nightmare or something) nagging fear that she’ll leave me for a woman one day. (I’m a man).

          Maybe it’s just an extra layer because it potentially opens more doors.

          You know how some things people say just echo in your head forever? You hear a thousand points from a thousand people and most of it just goes in one ear and out the other, but something sticks for some reason or other and it just echoes in your brain.

          An idiot, misogynist, redneck said to me, “once ‘ey get uh little pussy it’s a matter uh time. They want it like anybody who wants it, and they won’t go without it forever.”

          When I’m feeling particularly insecure, that dumb shit just shows up in my brain.

          I’m aware that I’m being stupid. I don’t express this to my wife because I’m being stupid and I know it.

          Well, overly stupid people scream their insecurities out loud constantly.

          I’ve met some really, really stupid gay people. They’re people like anyone else, of course.

          The truth is, if I were to hand myself over to my sexuality entirely, I’d be fucking as many people as I could as often as possible. My sexuality isn’t all I am. It’s a small part of who I am. I just have to trust that my wife is as serious about us as I am. She hasn’t given me a reason not to trust her.

          I guess my point is, idiot+insecure=bigotry.

          If my wife ever leaves me for a woman, I won’t let it verify my insecurity. She could just as easily leave me for a man. No point in letting my insecurities make me a bigot. Gay people aren’t immune to bigotry.

          • Bobo The Great@sopuli.xyz
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            5 hours ago

            You said wise things, but I suggest considering expressing your wife these insecurities. Maybe that will help you come to terms with them and you can find some strategies so she can effectively reassure you.

        • CookieOfFortune@lemmy.world
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          5 hours ago

          At least anecdotally, I’ve seen it happen multiple times. There’s this subset in the dating pool who want to give meeting with other women a try.

  • UnderpantsWeevil@lemmy.world
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    15 hours ago

    You are only bisexual if you are engaged in sex with two people of the opposite sex simultaneously.

    Otherwise, you’re just Schrodinger’s Gay.

  • TankovayaDiviziya@lemmy.world
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    12 hours ago

    I don’t know why bisexuals are memed as being given a hard time for being bisexual, and I am too afraid to ask at this point.

    • Sundray@lemmus.org
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      10 hours ago

      There’s bunch of stereotypes surrounding bisexuals. For example, that bisexuality doesn’t exist – like that they’re actually gay, but won’t admit it, or it’s a stepping-stone to being gay. Or that they’re actually straight but just fucking with lesbians and won’t ever commit, or that they’re promiscuous and will always cheat. Or, that once they do settle down it’ll always be with an opposite-gender partner. Or that they’re cowards who’ll mask their queerness instead of supporting the LGBTQA+ community, since they can always pretend to be straight… and so much more! It fucking sucks!

      • KeenFlame@feddit.nu
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        10 hours ago

        But like… Why wouldn’t they be allowed to do any of those things by others? Like are they the internal investigation department of free love movement like it’s a fucking paradox? Did they forget in 0.1ms it’s not up to them who I fuck?

        • Sundray@lemmus.org
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          9 hours ago

          I won’t pretend that some negative stereotypes about bisexuals don’t originate from broken-hearted unisexual folks’ lived experience (which is still no excuse to defame all bisexuals), but a lot – A LOT – of bisexual stereotypes and erasure comes from old-fashioned homophobia.