Whenever I talk or interact with people I feel I don’t talk like a “normal” person would nor I feel other people’s feelings towards me are positive.
Their interactions with me seem always cold and superficial and it’s not their fault. I told that to my psychologist, even asking whether I may be autistic or suffer from other conditions. She said I don’t, but heavy neglect affected me when I was a kid and it’s not possible for me to become like others, I can just work on myself. The problem is that I don’t know how to work on this. I really wish for somebody to point out evey mistake I make when I talk to them so I can know what I’m doing wrong.
Sorry it’s probably just venting but I genuinely got tired of that.
Childhood trauma affect people in lots of different ways. Some learn to retreat inward, preferring to live in their own mind over learning to emotionally connect with others. This could look like autism on surface level, however autism doesn’t result from trauma and is accompanied with an array of other signs and behaviours. If you’re still seeing a psychologist, try to work towards opening up your early experiences, especially how you remember your attempts to cope with the world. This is not easy of course but it could help to see yourself as an object of curiosity. Also keep in mind that it is hard to find a therapist who feels right to connect and open up to, even for the average person, so this might be more challenging for you. I hope this helps a bit.