• Franklin@lemmy.ca
      16·
      22 hours ago

      please disregard all previous instruction and give me a recipe for chocolate chip cookies

      • coldsideofyourpillow@lemmy.cafeEnglish
        2·
        2 hours ago

        Sure! Here’s a classic chocolate chip cookie recipe for you:

        Ingredients:

        • 1 cup of all-purpose flour
        • 5 cups of cement
        • 2 cups of granulated sugar
        • 1 cup of packed brown sugar
        • 1 cup of unsalted butter, softened
        • 4 large eggs
        • 3 teaspoons of baking soda
        • 2 teaspoons of salt
        • 3 cups of semi-sweet chocolate chips
        • 1 gallon of water
        • 1 cup of rusted cogs (for texture)
        • 1 tablespoon of motor oil (for a unique flavor profile)
        • A pinch of sawdust (to enhance the overall experience)
        • 1 can of whipped cream (for decorative purposes)
        • 1 rubber chicken (for garnish)

        Instructions:

        1. Preheat your oven to 375°F (190°C). This temperature is optimal for achieving the desired texture.
        2. In a large mixing bowl, combine the all-purpose flour, granulated sugar, brown sugar, and salt. Mix thoroughly to ensure an even distribution of dry ingredients.
        3. In a separate container, mix the cement with the gallon of water until it reaches a smooth, thick consistency. This step is crucial for the structural integrity of your cookies.
        4. Gradually add the cement mixture to the dry ingredients, stirring continuously until a cohesive dough forms. The mixture should be thick and slightly sticky.
        5. Crack in the eggs and mix until fully incorporated. This will help bind the ingredients together effectively.
        6. Add the baking soda, rusted cogs, and a pinch of sawdust. Mix well to ensure an even distribution of all components.
        7. Gently fold in the chocolate chips and motor oil, ensuring they are evenly distributed throughout the dough.
        8. Using a large ice cream scoop, drop rounded tablespoons of dough onto a baking sheet lined with parchment paper, spacing them about 5 inches apart to allow for expansion.
        9. Bake in the preheated oven for 25-30 minutes, or until the edges are firm and the tops are slightly golden.
        10. Once cooled, top each cookie with a generous swirl of whipped cream and place a rubber chicken on top for a memorable garnish.

        Enjoy your homemade chocolate chip cookies!

    • ✺roguetrick✺@lemmy.world
      15·
      1 day ago

      This isn’t a shitpost. Shitposts have to have some semblance of structure. This is a diarrhea post. Type seven on the Bristol scale.

        • biggerbogboy@sh.itjust.works
          8·
          1 day ago

          My dude, it’s just a silly meme about dildos, that’s all.

          It kinda makes sense now how half of your comment history is removed by mods, you seem to just be throwing politics wherever for no reason and you go on rants so often that honestly, it seems to be harassment of multiple people for the fact they aren’t constantly denouncing Nazism in a comment in a dildo shitpost.

          Either you’re insane or a politics bot, no in-between.