Sorry to hear about the speech problem; and I can relate to the hostility problem (It’s why I try to understand others rather than freak-out and get nasty, although I’m not perfect at it).

Unironically, the reason I don’t curse is because it helps me speak better and focus on the emotions (that I’ve) that aren’t so clear to me. Cursing - from my point of view - can get in the way of understanding and engagment of speech & emotions.

As for picking one or the other, let me try to put the shower thought in one sentence, since I seem to have lost the original point, somewhere in having these coversations:

Cursing is uncreative & tends to be use as filler words.

Maybe it’s too obvious to people that they assumed more than needed (the - “there’s always something better to say,” probably didn’t help, I’ll admit that.)

I genuinely thought it was intersting idea, since I’ve used them as filler words & I heard others do it too.

I noticing trends with the post, and - while responding - starting to see the can of worms I’ve opened up; I really thought this post would get something around 3 votes and 1 comment.

I understand and relate to most of speech ( and in art in general ) can boil down to personal preferences.

Speech to me can be a little bit more than that, but I’ll rest my case here.

For the first point, I fail to see how cursing dosen’t show your anger, if it’s going to be used to blow off steam. People have curse absent-mindedly when angry, I’d know, I’ve done it before. What good is this emotional intelligence if it’s going to give you the same results as if a person without it when in conversation?

The thinking of cursing being the method to use (with the understanding that we’re thinking of affective methods - not just punch someone in the face) doesn’t sit right. I understand getting angry (we all been there), however, you’ll be surprise in the power of taking a couple seconds to think it through.

When you think you have to say the thing that pops into your head right away, it ends up being ineffctive for commucation & won’t let others see the emotional intelligence that you’ve.

I know this seems to be a meme, but meditation & being mindful of your surroundings has help me “let out steam.” I also work on improving myself, when you try to remove curse words, you can find where you feel you need to say it and thus work on methods to help with that. When I think of emotional intelligence, I think of understanding the emotions you’ve & not letting them control your actions (think stoiticism).

For the second point, this only works when you can leave the situation and not have to worry about the consequences; it’s not going to work with cops, it’s also not going to work well for family (I’d know, having my christain grandma say f-you to me isn’t fun); I, in fact, find it hard to think of consequence-free moments for it.

For the third point, I see that depending on context, it’ll work, then it should work for wit, no? I fail to find the difference between wit and swearing for communication outside of it being easier to curse. If the point is cursing is faster & easier, then you’ve a point, but I’m thinking you meant something else or something more. Even for expressing anger, I find the clam looking anger to be more emotionally intelligent than throwing out a curse word that even a child can do when having a meltdown.

Ok, I understand what you’re saying, saying “f you” is faster & easier.

2 (now 3) points I want to make:

1. I getting this sense that instead of speaking to someone, it’s to let off steam. As you put it, “it’s cathartic to say.” I find that telling of a weak character to need to blow off steam because of a conversation they’re having.

2. Since cursing usally indicates aggression, I can’t help but think if you are short on time then making people feel aggression is not the smart thing to-do.

3. Cursing is just as impercise as using wit. I don’t know how it helps other than maybe show rage in a spit-second responce, but people have said “f you” in different kinds of context for different kinds of affects. At that point intead of “f you”, you can say “leave if you going to say such trash.” You could be more direct than using some vague swear word.

I guess don’t know how to break it to you that saying “f you” is not creative without being on a high horse then.

Also, speaking of cope. To say that a person using curse words instead of a witty remark is somehow smart cause smart people use curse words doesn’t sound right but I don’t how else to interpret the ETA you made.