My partner and I are like this. We’ve been together for 14 years and are legit best friends.

I have a feeling too many people paired off right away and decided their first serious relationship was the one, and never actually found an equal. Maybe they married more out of fear of being alone rather than actual desire, or they just can’t tell the difference between sexual novelty and love.

Even a lot of my married friends start identifying more with boomer humor than romance after 2 or 3 years. Way too many communication issue, or ideas of traditional roles or how things ‘should be’ leading to resentment or exasperation.

Court long and marry late. And don’t hide your real self when dating.

After 24 years of marriage, my wife… seems to find me acceptable.

If I can quote a thing: happiness isn’t having what you want, it’s wanting what you’ve got.

Points to anyone who can name the source without using Google.

Everyone happier than me should perish

Exactly how I feel about my wife.

And here I am, divorced and never marrying again, lucky to be dating the same girl for eight years. And then there’s that one day every few years where she runs out of her meds and begins believing I’m plotting against her when I ask how her mom is doing that I think, “I’m super glad I didn’t get married again so I can just walk away if this shit lasts more than a few days.”

That’s love. Staying with someone, not because you’re married and a divorce is a huge legal hassle, but because they haven’t freaked all the way the fuck out yet.

PS, make friends with your pharmacist, fellow BPSOs. Make sure they keep those mood stabilizers and antipsychotic in stock.

That’s limerence.

A more stable relationship is when feelings crystalize, but until then, there’s limerence. Two-way limerent relationships are as unstable as a bottle of undiluted nitroglycerin. In any case, limerent relationships are quite common, and are the stuff of music, art, and poetry.